Today I want to talk about how to pack a lunch for a child who’s a picky eater. Does this sound familiar? You spend some time packing what you think is a healthy, cute, or a delicious lunch, and it comes home barely touched, and that can be frustrating. Here are some tools and tips to take the pressure off, to get your kids involved, and maybe spark their curiosity with what’s in their lunchbox. You still want to make the meal nourishing, but it has to be realistic, and stand a chance of being eaten by the pickiest kids, so I’m going to give you some tips and ideas.
What is picky eating exactly? It’s when a child shows a strong preference for certain foods and refuses others, sometimes refusing entire food groups.
That can be frustrating as a mom, especially if your child is not at home; they’re going off to school, and you need to pack them a lunch. Picky eating can come from many different places. Sometimes it’s just a phase, a developmental phase that will change, and they’ll overcome it. Sometimes it’s about the sensory side of someone, the texture, the smell of the food, and even how it looks affects them. Also, sometimes it can be a mixture of anxiety, insecurity, or any other emotions that are affecting their ability to eat.
It’s important to remember that it’s not necessarily anything to do with you, or the way you’ve done things, and your child won’t necessarily be stuck with this forever. Eating other foods is definitely something that can improve and grow with a few simple strategies and a bit of time.
Remember, it’s important to not aim for a picture perfect lunchbox, one that will work perfectly, and that looks just right. All we want is to include at least one food that your child reliably eats, and give them small chances to explore others without overwhelming them. Remember that as a mom, you’re not responsible for making your child eat. You offer good food, but you can’t really control the outcome. They will come around.
So, rather than thinking, “How do I make them eat this?” think “How can I offer something that feels safe and inviting?” If you’ve been locked in a cycle of stress, guilt, or frustration, it’s okay. Take a breath. You’re doing your best, and you’re going to find your child will grow into a good confident eater over time.
Let’s talk about strategy. How do we actually pack a lunch that’s more likely to be eaten by a picky eater? One of the biggest game changers is letting your child be part of the process, for example, giving them guided choices, like “Would you like apple slices or grapes?” “Do you want some chicken roll-ups or cheese cubes?” Somehow when they have a little bit of control, then it’s easier for them to eat what’s in their lunchboxes.
Strategy number two is always include one or two foods that you know they’ll definitely eat, even if it’s the same thing over and over again. That’s okay, as long as it’s something they reliably, happily enjoy. Then add one “try food” – something they’re learning to like, or you’re not sure if they’ll like, perhaps something new. Keep it small. Think of bite-sized pieces, not a full serving of something new. The goal is to expose them to something without pressure.
Then thirdly, think of the food as snack style bites. Many picky eaters do better with a whole lot of small options that they can choose from, rather than having one big thing that they may or may not enjoy. In your snack box, you could have a protein like some hummus or other dip, a boiled egg, or a deli meat. For your carbohydrates you could do crackers, mini pancakes, or chips. Then have a fruit, a vegetable, or both, sliced thin, and maybe with a dip. Also add something fun like a little tub of yogurt, or a mini muffin, or any treat you like to give.
The way it looks really helps. You don’t have to spend hours carving animals into your bread slices or something, but just do anything that makes it fun. Little colorful picks, or colored silicone cups – anything that brings a bit of novelty may help them to eat their food.
You don’t need to do a whole ton of new things, like a new idea every day. It’s probably much easier on both you and your child if you have three or four go-to lunches, and you just cycle through them. Perhaps you can even have something you do every Monday, every Tuesday, every Wednesday, et cetera, and then you don’t have to think so hard, and get decision fatigue. You know what you’re going to do, it’s predictable, and your child knows what to expect.
You could draw a little lunchbox and write some ideas for each day, like maybe a muffin in this box on Monday, a few crackers or some little rounds of bread on Tuesday, and sandwiches on Wednesday. Then in another container you can do cold meat that they like one day, nuts that they like the next day, et cetera. Just plan a few simple meals that you can repeat.
Here’s something that it’s important to not do, because sometimes we can make it more stressful for ourselves or our kids than it needs to be – don’t shame your child or make them feel guilty if they don’t eat what you packed. It’s okay. You don’t need to say things like, “But I worked so hard on that! Why didn’t you eat it?” Sometimes there’s just an off day, and sometimes the food just doesn’t work for them on that day. Maybe the strawberries were a bit soggy and over ripe or something like that. They’re not trying to frustrate you. They’re just doing their best.
Also, it’s important not to let them eat sweets or real junk food close to the meal, because then they’re less likely to eat the things you’ve packed for them. Don’t bribe them or put pressure on them. Just treat it like something you know is going to get better, something that you both enjoy, and say “I hope you enjoy your lunch today. I’ve packed this thing that you like,” and then they’ve got something to look forward to. You could say “You might wanna try this. It’s very yummy,” or anything positive about the food.
Really, new foods that they’ve never tried before should be tried at home rather than in their lunchboxes, because then you can model eating them, or offer them in a low pressure setting along with other foods where they feel safe. Then gradually, as they’re exposed to those things, they’ll enjoy them more. Don’t take it personally if your child doesn’t eat their lunch. It’s about building trust over time, and every attempt counts, even if it’s rejected.
Let’s be more practical. If your child’s helping you, it’s nice to have a lunchbox station at home, perhaps bins in the fridge or containers with lunch friendly items that your child can choose from. In the fridge, you could have some cheese sticks that are packaged, some small yogurts, some fresh cut up fruit, deli meat, and some dried fruit. In your pantry, you could have some crackers, some bags of trail mix, applesauce pouches, or anything that works out of the fridge. Then your children have time to choose one of each item to add to their lunchboxes. If your mornings are chaotic, then prep the evening before, and you can store the boxes in the fridge.
Things like Bento boxes are really helpful because they have the little container compartments already, and you can easily put a little bit of food in each. Different kinds of cheeses are always great to put in, like little mozzarella balls or little baby bell cheeses. Sandwich cutters are also great – round ones, star shapes – anything that adds novelty to the food. There’s the mini forks that you can stick into the food; into your fruit or into the sandwiches in your lunchbox. That makes them more appealing.
Keep a list, perhaps on your fridge or on your phone, of the combos that you’ve chosen, or have pictures ready of the lunchbox that you’ve chosen. Alternatively, you could just have categories that you can easily choose an item from. Here are some more examples – you can have chicken roll-ups, pretzels, and apple slices, or mini waffles, yogurt, and strawberries, or cheese cubes with potato chips, cucumber, and ranch dressing. You could do mozzarella balls with pitted olives, cherry tomatoes, and maybe a little cucumber, but again, stick with what your child knows and enjoys. Even if they just eat little chicken kebabs and cucumber every day, that’s something.
It definitely doesn’t have to be fancy. Stick with what you and what they know. Ask your child what one food they always eat, or are always happy with, and then you can build around that. We want consistency, calm, enjoyable eating.
It doesn’t have to be anything near our own expectations, especially at the beginning. You can have goals that you work towards as you introduce foods at home, and your kids slowly get around their dislike of them. It’ll improve. Think of it as a marathon or a journey, not a race. Most of all, keep your child’s relationship with you good. Your relationship with them should be peaceful and encouraging, not pressured and stressed. Have patience with yourself and patience with your child.
So, remember to make a short list or a few drawings of meals they reliably eat, and then have a few “try foods” that you can add to those. Remember, you’re doing a great job, and your effort matters because even though the progress may seem invisible, there is progress and every bite is a step forward.
Again, have your categories. You can choose a protein, a carb, fruits, vegetables, and fun optional add-ons. You can do any deli meat, roll-ups, cheese cubes or sticks, hard boiled eggs, or any dips. Maybe they enjoy ranch dressing, hummus or other dip, plain or flavored yoghurt, and nut butters like almond butter, cashew butter, or peanut butter – any of the ones they enjoy. Then you can have crackers. Homemade crackers are great. Bought crackers are great. There’s pancakes or waffles, tortilla chips, or potato chips with a dip. You can do whole grain toast cut into fingers, or small muffins. Then for the fruits and veggies, you can have apple slices, grapes. berries like strawberries or blueberries, cucumber rounds, or cute triangles, or slices. I guess rounds are slices! Baby carrots or pieces of carrots, pieces of bell pepper, dried raisins, dates, apricots, or a pouch of applesauce. Then you can put in small treats like little chocolates, mini cookies, granola bars, or trail mix with whatever your child eats, and some M&Ms or something inside.
At home, you can also say something like “Okay, here’s two M&Ms and one olive,” or something that they’re learning to eat, “And now let’s try three M&Ms and one lychee,” or whatever it is they’re learning to eat. Make it fun, almost a game to learn to eat those things.
Have fun, and remember that it’s a fleeting season making lunch for your child and soon they’ll be all grown up and you’ll remember it fondly, so make the most of the time while you can. You can also add a little napkin with a fun saying on it, or put a little note in the lunchbox if you have time and you’re feeling creative. But again, don’t put pressure on yourself. The goal is to give them some nutritious things that they’ll eat, and then everyone will be happy.
