Hi friends! I’m Karyn and this is the Family Food for Moms podcast. We’re talking about inspiration for family cooking and dining!
In this episode, we’re going to be talking about what we can learn from the Edwardian era in England, Downton Abbey times. It’s fascinating to think about these people and how they lived – it’s so different to how we live today. Today we have a very fast paced life, whereas in those days it was a slow lifestyle in so many ways.
What can we learn about food and dining in the Edwardian era and around Downton Abbey times? It wasn’t so much about the food itself, although that definitely did play a part. It was whole food – people would grow their own vegetables and fruit, hunt their own venison from their land, and make their own condiments. Even more it was in the way dined – slowly, together, everyone being present and making it an occasion. That’s what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m going to read a couple of things that I found on the internet about Downton Abbey food. This one’s from downtonabbeycooks.com. She says:
“For me and other foodies, we just can’t help ourselves. It’s the food, which is so fascinating. I learned to cook from my grandmother and proudly carry the food traditions of our European heritage with me. I majored in history in my undergraduate degree and am a culinary historian, curious about the differences in diet between the upper and lower classes, what food was available at that time, and how it was prepared. Which dishes are still prepared today, handed down from generation to generation. Food and communal dining has and always will play a role in bringing people together. There’s a big push these days to get families to sit down around the dining table to rebuild the bonds in the frantic world they live in.”
It’s so true that food will always play a role in bringing people together. Our family sitting down around the table is so important. It helps us to slow down and shut out all the crazy busyness and the noise from our day. It helps us to connect with each other and it helps us to be present. Especially as moms we get distracted so easily. We get busy with so many things. I find it really hard not to jump up all the time, even when I’m sitting at the dining room table because I think of something I need to do or something I need to fetch or check on. But my family appreciates it so much if I can sit and connect and be present with them and listen to them, ask them questions, share from my heart – just stop everything else to be together.
And that’s what the family dining table should be about – that closeness and that togetherness at the end of the day. Now I want to read from Mapleridge.com She says:
“Recently I was catching up on the final season of Downton Abbey when it hit me. One of the reasons I and millions of others around the world Love this show is the dedication to presentation. Dinner is an event complete with formal attire, real linens and fine china. When the meal is ready, the family is called into the dining room where an impressive scene awaits.It’s a far cry from throwing a frozen meal into the microwave. I love that. These days it’s so easy to just find something in the freezer or in the frozen section of the grocery store, stick it in the microwave or in the oven and dinner is done. And also because we’re just so crazy busy during the day, it feels like a relief to be able to do that.”
Often I feel rather tired and not really into being creative in the evenings. But somehow if I stop, have a little rest and slow down a bit, and connect with the family by greeting everybody, then somehow I find more energy to do something special. So one of the things that we can learn from the Edwardian era is that dinner is an event.
To respect the dinner time, to value it and put some effort into it, to give it the consideration and the preparation that it deserves, we don’t always need to do a whole big fancy thing. We just need to take a breath and think “Okay let’s make this special.” Everybody should sit down at the table together so that we’re all there together. Everybody should know that it’s time to leave behind the rest of the day; they should bring their best selves so that they can share in the conversation, enjoy each other and connect with each other – have good conversation. So a second thing that we can learn from this type of eating is to really be present at the meal.
Everybody’s there. Everybody’s looking at each other, smiling at each other, talking to each other, sharing from their days and asking questions of others about their days so that there’s good communication, connection and closeness. Then the third thing, and I’ve mentioned this a bit already, is to slow down.
This means to really leave behind all the stresses, leave behind the busyness, leave behind the to do list and leave behind the crazy feeling of never catching up with everything that needs to be done. It’s to slow down and say to ourselves: “I have time for this. I’m not in a hurry. There’s nowhere to get to.There’s nothing to finish. I can slow down and be present.”
Slowing down is so good for us in many ways. Something we all too often don’t even think about is that it’s good for our digestion to eat slowly and have breaks between maybe what we could call courses, to have breaks while we have conversation. Therefore, slowing down is incredibly good physically – and also incredibly good emotionally. It helps us to let go of things. It helps us to de-stress and to be more aware of each other and to connect.
Let’s talk a little more about each of these – making dinner an occasion, making it special, and making it meaningful. There’s so many things we can do to help this to happen. It doesn’t have to be a huge event, but it certainly is fun to do something extra special now and then.
But for now, let’s just talk about the everyday sort of special and the things that help with it. Things like a way to set the table simply but beautifully. Add some beautiful napkins, add some beautiful glasses or lights, twinkle lights, candles, or play some lovely background music. These are things that help everybody relax and become aware that it’s a special time.
Maybe ask everybody to dress up a little bit and look smart. You could have a special topic of conversation that Dad initiates. Or request that everybody tells us about a high and a low of their day, or tells us something fun they learned that day. Anything that helps the conversation get going, helps you to connect and to forget about the to-do list and the crazy busyness in your head, helps to make the mealtime a special, close time.
I also find that if we’re having a vegetable we can even make the meal have two courses without having to add to the work. Let’s say it’s long stem broccoli and meatballs with rice. We can do the broccoli first with a bit of butter and salt. Then have a little chat, and then do the meatballs and rice.
And maybe there’s a dessert! Having that little gap between courses really helps for good conversation and enjoyment of the time.
Now we’ll look at being present. This helps everyone to refocus as they see that dinner’s going to be a set aside time, a special time. So as I said, something special on the table or in the lighting or music, these things help people to calm down and to be present at the table together. They help everyone to leave behind all their worries, especially Dad with any burdens he might have, and Mom with the burden of running the household, making sure everything’s ready for dinner. We can leave these anxieties behind, and be present with each, focusing on the present.
Having prepared questions or conversation starters can help us to be present as well. In the same way, slowing down and sitting down helps with presence. Maybe we can have a place in the dining room where we can put all the food without having to go back and forth to the kitchen. That means that we can slow down as well and not have to jump up for every little thing. We can have the kids help get drinks to the dining area, bring the food, and set the table beforehand so that everybody can then slow down and sit together, stopping all the distractions. And then just like on Downton Abbey, sometimes it can be an extra special occasion where you dress really fancy.
There could be a theme to the evening, perhaps related to some time of history or some event, or country. I’ll definitely have more podcast episodes where we talk about different countries – doing food for the country of choice, playing music from the country, learning a bit about the place and its culture. That’s a lot of fun!
Another fun thing to do would be, like in Downton Abbey, to go into one room of the house, like the living room, and have drinks or tiny little cocktails, and then stand around and chat, just for fun to change things up a little. And then you could go into the dining room and have the first course.
You could even serve a little glass dish of sorbet to cleanse the palate between meals. The kids will definitely enjoy that! Maybe just slow down the meal and have a little bit at a time instead of a whole course. And then after the meal you can retire to a different room or go back to the one you started in and have a cup of tea or a mug of hot chocolate and have more conversation. This is all about being together and breaking out of the norm.
This is inspiring me even as I think about the evening because it’s so cold here at the moment, and we haven’t been able to go out for our evening walk, and we haven’t done much in the evenings for a few days. What do you do when you’re stuck at home in the cold in the evening? Make the dinner table special!
So I’m going to do something in the living area before and I’m going to do hot chocolate after dinner. I’m going to try and find some good conversation starters and get some music going so that we can connect this evening – relax and enjoy each other’s company.
I hope you enjoyed this little chat. We’ll definitely be revisiting some of these issues in future episodes, but I hope you found a little bit of inspiration from this. Also, if you’d like to, you can download our free conversation starters pack below with 28 different conversation starters for your family to use at the dinner table to get the conversation going. It contains things for all ages – some serious things, and some interesting and amusing questions, lots of fun to use.
It would be lovely if you let me know some of the things that you’ve done to bring the slowness and the family closeness and the occasion to your dinner table in your family. You can email me on karyn@familyfoodacademy.com – just a short email, let me know what you’ve been up to. Thanks for joining me! See you next time.
