Today we’re going to be continuing our theme on meaningful dinners with some practical ideas for things you can do. We talked about the atmosphere, to do with the lighting, music, or table setting. We talked about the food not needing to be too fancy, but rather meaningful with some effort put in. We talked about conversation and topics. We talked about how to make each person feel seen and heard. So, we’re thinking about how to make dinner time meaningful, how to create meaningful memories, and to make it special. Here are some ideas to focus on connection, not perfection – making the evening meaningful.
You could have an appreciation dinner. Each person could share one thing that they appreciate about every other person. You could write them on small cards and then read them aloud, or you could just say them on the spur of the moment. You could do them as a toast – anything that makes the other person feel appreciated.
You could have a story night. You could pick a theme, like “a funny childhood memory”, or “a time I felt proud of what I did”, or “a family tradition I love”. Think of any sentences that you’d like the others to complete, and maybe have some cards to get you going with some good prompts. It can be anything to get somebody talking about something from their past – something funny, something heroic, something exciting, or something terrifying. Tell some good stories.
It’s actually amazing what our kids remember; often things that we don’t remember. It’s really cool to find out from each person what their memories of a particular time. You could do a memory candle – light a candle and invite each person to share a favorite memory before the meal begins.
Make it interactive and fun. You could do a build-your-own dinner, like a taco bar, a potato bar, a pasta bar, a pizza night, a ramen noodle bar, or rice bowls, so everybody gets to customize their plate. You can have a separate table with all the ingredients on, and everybody can mix and match. You can even choose where you’re going to sit, who you’re going to sit next to, and what you’re going to talk to them about. Have a build-your-own relaxed evening.
You could try a role reversal dinner where the kids plan the menu and the parents do all the chores. The kids serve the food, and everyone can eat out of character. One of the younger kids could give instructions, and one of the parents could act silly. You could do silly accents. You could act all formal. You could do a pretend restaurant where the waitress has a tray and takes your orders. Just use your imagination.
You could do a mystery ingredient challenge, where a prize ingredient should be included in the meal or dessert, and then everyone has to guess what it is. You can taste the food and think about it. It doesn’t have to taste bad – it could just be an additional unusual thing. This works quite well in a dessert, but it’s sometimes harder in a main course. For example, you could put some cinnamon in a cheesecake, or you could put some orange or lemon zest on a dessert like panna cotta. You could also do something like a little bit of chocolate in a lamb stew or something fun like that. Make it unique or unexpected, creating moments that you’ll remember.
For around-the-world nights, you can pick a country. You can do the food, the music, the table decor, and perhaps some clothes or parts of clothing around that theme. Share some fun facts from that culture. You could watch a movie about the area, or learn how to say something in that language, like “thank you” or “hello”.
You could do a time travel dinner. I think this is an exciting one, though I’ve never done it. Choose a decade or an era, like the seventies, medieval times, the future, or ancient China. Do the dress, and if there’s music, you can do that. Try to match the food theme. This isn’t an easy one; it’s quite a challenge, but I think it’ll be a lot of fun.
You could do an indoor picnic, sitting in your living room on the carpet and eating with your hands, or you could go outside and star-gaze. You could make it a gourmet picnic with fancy cheese and fancy glasses with grape juice.
Then there’s a question jar. Put thoughts or fun questions in a question jar. “What made you laugh this week?” “What’s something you want to learn?” “I think star gazing is the best.” Just see what conversation comes out of it. “If today had a title, what would it be?” You could talk about your highs, lows, and hopes. “What was your high; the best part of your day?” What was your low; the hardest part of your day? “What’s your hope; something you’re looking forward to?” This is a great way to get everybody talking.
Making something a tradition really helps to turn ordinary meals into something special. You could have a signature dinner each month where you have the same meal; the same ritual each month. Over time, that becomes your family’s thing for that day.
You could create a family memories book. Each time you eat dinner, then one person has a turn to write or draw something about that night. That’ll be amazing to look back on and to browse through to see all the things that you did together over the years. It can become incredibly meaningful.
You can do a dinner where you focus on gratitude and giving. Talk about something your family is grateful for, or something each specific individual is grateful for. Then choose a small act of kindness to do together later, or each person can choose something kind to do for the person sitting next to them. You can think about someone that you want to invite over and how you want to make them feel welcome in your home. You can cook a meal for someone else, or part of a meal, like a dessert, for a friend or a family member. Think about how you can be generous.
Another one is a values dinner. This is where you’d pick one value – either the parents or the kids pick a value like kindness, courage, or integrity. Then talk about what it means and how you think it showed up this week in the other members of the family – what you noticed.
Here are some more fun ideas. You could pull all your questions that you like to use in a question jar – some deep and some fun, and then pull one out each dinner time. There’s pass-the-plate compliments, where each person says one sincere thing about the person on their left or right. You could have a weekly host – one person “hosts” the dinner. They pick the music, the theme, and the conversation starter, and maybe the colors and the decor. Make it theirs.
Having an end-of-meal ritual can be special. Read a part of the Bible, or have a short toast, or a prayer, or a moment of silence together. I think that stops the leaping-up-and-wanting-to-clear-immediately thing because then the meal’s not finished. When everybody is finished, and has had a chance to eat their meal and not be rushed, then you can end with a small ritual as a way to cement your togetherness.
Sometimes you can talk about the rose, the thorn, and the bud in your life. This is one win, one challenge that you’re struggling with, and something that you’re growing in in your life. Then there’s “if you really knew me.” This can be fun and light, or it can be deep, and people share something about themselves. Some of these things will work well with guests included, and some will work well with just the family. There’s two truths and a lesson – two things that happened and what you learned. Some other questions that are good are “What made you feel seen recently?” “What are you proud of that you did that no one knows about?” and “What do you want more of in your life right now? “
Sometimes you can recreate a meal from a special time in your lives, or after the meal, recreate a photo from a special time in your life. You could have a start-silent night. This is a different kind of challenge. The first five minutes would be eating quietly, just looking at each other, smiling, and then reflecting on how it felt.
Tiny touches can elevate things, things like a little handwritten note at each card. I know one of my daughters especially would love this. Or you can just write a little note or a specific message that applies to them for each person on the back. You can have special tablecloths, glasses, or cutlery that you only use for special dinners. You could have a shared journal where you each write one sentence after dinner. It could be just whatever you feel like writing, or it could be a response to a prompt. You could pass the book around during the meal for everyone to write in. It’s fun to have a little bell to ring for the start of the meal – then everybody knows that it’s time and it’s started.
There are so many ideas for different ways that you can make meals meaningful, and a lot of these can apply to date nights as well. They can often be even more intimate and meaningful then because it’s sometimes easier for spouses to talk than families. Talk about your high and your low – the best part of your week and hardest part, and then your desire for something you want more of – together or individually. Talk about some things that you appreciate about the other person, right at that time.
Have a weekly check-in – what felt good between us, what felt off, and one new thing we could try next week. Write each other a little note each day and stick it on each other’s Bible or desk. Ask the “if you really knew me” question. Usually you know each other quite well, but it’d be interesting to hear the end of that sentence.
Here are some good questions – When do you feel most loved by me? What are you craving more of lately? What scares you about the future? What excites you about the future? You can go down memory lane – sharing a favorite memory, talking about a specific time in your lives, looking at some photos and trying to remember what that time was like, and then talking about what you found valuable in that time, what you struggled with, and why you’re are glad of to be out of that time.
You can have a check-in of love languages. “In what ways did you feel love this week and how can we show love better to each other?” You could play compliment ping-pong. This is where you both give compliments until someone laughs or blushes, so try to keep a straight face. You could have a shared journal where you take turns writing one page or half a page after the date, to each other or to your future selves.
Stargazing is always special, and you can write short letters for each other to open during your date night. Dressing up from a time in history is fun when you’re a couple. You can do this in the same way as with a family. Choose any time in history that you find fascinating. You could recreate your first date, or a special date that you remember, though I know this is harder to do at home. Play a song that you always found special, or play your date night playlist.
You could have a flower evening where the men in the family choose flowers for the ladies, either flowers from the garden or bought flowers. Then talk about why that flower reminds them of that person. Alternatively, the ladies could choose particular flowers for the table or for each person at the table, and then also talk about the color or the characteristics of the flower, and what or who it made them think of.
You could just enjoy a slow night with no agenda. Cook together slowly, have long conversations, sit and stare into each other’s eyes without rushing – just trying to make time to be there for each other and to make memories.
I’ve only scratched the surface. There are so many ways to make dinners meaningful, whether family nights or date nights. I find that as soon as I start to make an effort, the ideas come. When I’m feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, I don’t have many ideas, but somehow putting on some soft music, dimming the lights, and setting the table beautifully helps already to bring that family closeness and connection. So, I hope you have some special mealtimes in the near future and that you’re feeling inspired.
